My boyfriend from high school and I are drifting apart, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been dating him for two years and we are best friends. We were inseparable. I am currently a freshman at a school about an hour away from him. He has had girls in his snap stories and people tag him in Instagrams (yes, I look at what he is tagged in). We used to talk every day, but now he is “so busy” and can only talk like three times a week AND always about him. I even questioned our relationship and he got pissed. I feel stupid for waiting around to talk to him if he is seeing people on the side. Is it time to move on and see some guys from my own college?
-Soon to be Ex
Dear Soon to be Ex,
I understand how you feel, and you are definitely not alone. He sounds like he doesn’t care about what you are doing and wants to live his life, but still have you as a safety net. It is a devaluing feeling that you must feel, and I am sorry he is making you feel less of a best friend and more of a person simply “there.” He may wants to have his cake and eat it too. If he isn’t asking about you, maybe he isn’t thinking about you. The girls on the snap story may not be a big deal. Try putting yourself in his shoes, would you see an issues of posting picture with you guys friends? If yes, then you cannot be mad at him for that, no matter how jealous you are right now. That being said, if you feel like something is wrong. Trust your gut. Often times, as women we tend to turn a blind eye when things are wrong in our relationship because we see the best in our partners and do not want to get hurt.
Moving forward, you should try to make a time to talk to him about how you’re feeling. You want to start strong and allow yourself to say everything you have to say. If he gets upset and defensive, he could be being sensitive or hiding something. It really depends on what you know about him. A two-year relationship is not something you want to throw away just because he doesn’t know how to manage his time. I say talk to him to figure out where you both stand.
So talk to him! Sit him down and allow him the opportunity to answer these questions. If you love him and want to be with him, definitely go to him first before making any decisions. Just remember, you’re not alone in feeling distance in a longterm relationship.