The Morning After: Etiquette and How to Escape Quickly

Sooooo you got a little down and dirty last night. And sooner or later (probably later because this is a weekend in #college) you find yourself awake next to a sexy dude.

Let’s say you escaped while you could. The morning after a raunchy night, if he got your number and you’re interested in continuing the relationship-whatever that means for you- definitely text him something around the lines “had so much fun last night, thank you for having me over!” (or thank him for coming over if vice versa). If you prefer to keep it strictly as a casual one-night stand, there’s no need to send a text in the morning. If he texts you and thanks you for coming over, you can give him a little flirty response, but do not lead him on by continuing to text him.

But let’s say this isn’t the case for you and oh no… you’ve found yourself awake at 8 am wondering wtf to do. First of all, good for you! Casual sex is hella ~raunchy~ and should celebrated with a restful sleep.  You may be sore in the morning, but as long as you sleep in, homework is WAY easier to deal with after a promiscuous night.

Now do you… Stay? (And if so, how long?) Or leave this fine ass man’s dorm room?

Some signs you should stay:

  1. He’s passed out asleep and you don’t know how to wake him up. The polite thing to do here is to go back to sleep and wait till he is awake before you roll out. However, if this happens and you really want to peace out, you could always be mysterious and leave him a note.
  2. It’s getting steamy… 😉
  3. He is cuddling with you and kisses you. This is a sure indicator that he’s really into morning-after sex because he is willing to look past disgusting morning breath (both yours and his own). If you’re so not into it, tell him so; communication is always key.

If these three signs are not observed, it’s a good idea to leave so you don’t overstay his hospitality.

To leave, there are multiple acceptable excuses you can use, including the “sorry I should get going… my stomach hurts really badly,” the believable “so sorry- I have a group project at 9!” or the straightforward, as-fast-as-possible “bye!” followed by a casual sprint out of his room.

And what if this whole scenario occurs in your room? You can kick him out by waking him up and saying nicely “sorry I have to go shower you have to get going!” or more straightforward, if it’s your style: “you have to go bye!!”

But ladies, make sure you let him know you’re leaving, either by waking him up or leaving a note. Do not be that person that disappears without a trace.

Hopefully this guide sets you in the right direction for a morning after a steamy night. Make sure to bundle up before you hit the cold for your early walk home!



By Sarah Basile