Dear Morgan,
I recently split with my girlfriend of 8 months. It was a distance thing. I’m actually pretty excited to be single again, but I’ve been out the past few nights and I’ve been off my game. That’s a bit out of character for me. Any advice on how to get back out there?
From, Single & Trynna Mingle
Dear Single & Trynna Mingle,
I am so sorry to hear about your breakup, but I am glad you are taking it in stride. Getting out of a relationship and bouncing back is pretty tough, so it is understandable if you’ve been off your game.
Don’t feel frustrated if you aren’t immediately kicking it off with the ladies. It’s completely normal for people entering the single life. Being in a relationship is easy going out wise. You go together, get drinks together, and leave together.
Unfortunately, going out single is not as simple. Small talk at bars is the worst, especially when nerves kick in. One thing that will help is making sure you go out with friends who have your back. If you are comfortable with your friends, you will appear more approachable to the girls around you. Also, if your friends want to have a good time, they will make it fun for you.
Tips on talking to girls at bars:
- Make eye contact, but don’t stare at her. She wants to see you are interested in talking to her, not stalking her!
- Have your friends walk up with you to meet her friends. She may feel relieved that she has her friends there to scope you out!
- Buy her a drink but don’t expect anything from it. Don’t immediately try to take her home while she is still drinking what you bought, she could find it too… eager.
- Don’t mention your ex. Yeah, you just got out of a relationship, but who cares! You are here to have fun and meet new people.
- Introduce yourself! It’s the easiest way to start a conversation. Bonus points if you give a compliment!
I hope this helps you in your newly found singledom. Good luck!
XOXO,
Morgan